Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
