My room smells like vodka and shame
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize