I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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