stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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