i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
