trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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