Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
