I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
