You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
