I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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