its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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