I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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