I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
