i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
