ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
