let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
