Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
