His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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