just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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