on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
