You work out of a Hotel?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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