I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
