Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
