i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
