I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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