In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wish I only lived at night.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
