Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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