you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize