Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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