When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
