my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
