I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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