Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
