my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
