I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
