i barfeds in our rink
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
