Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
