I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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