the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
