you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
