do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize