We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
