i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
a search helicopter?!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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