She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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