Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
