I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
