i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
