well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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