I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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