does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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