yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
