I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
