guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
