Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
