rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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