his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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