He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
