bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
