Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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