after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
bring money and cleavage
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
