So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
