dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize